Meera's pov

I was somewhere, it was very dark to make out where I was. Suddenly someone opened the door of the room with a bang, a loud noise and he started laughing maniacally. I instantly recognized the voice because how could I not, he is the one who made me believe that I am worthless and not deserving of love. Well not only he, someone very close to me also made me believe that.

Also he didn't come alone, he was with the girl, I couldn't see their faces, but I can make out the man's identity. "How are you Meera, still pathetic?", he said, mocking me. "Well you are, but how come a billionaire hotshot is marrying you without knowing you? Did you tell him the truth? Did you tell him your real self? Well how will you, you filthy woman. Just like you betrayed me, broke my heart, I will also not let you live peacefully." Just as he was coming towards me after saying this, I heard my name being called and he stopped moving.

"Meera". It's Krsh, but I couldn't see him. He was asking where I was. I wanted to speak but I was not able to due to being tied with cloth on my mouth preventing me from speaking. It seemed he was desperate to find me but was not able to. And I was not able to do anything. I am literally so pathetic, so worthless.

I opened my eyes and woke up. Realization dawned upon me that I was having a nightmare. I searched for my medicines hurriedly and took them. I was still calming myself down. I picked up my phone and saw the time to be six in the morning and reality came to me. I was in Mumbai, the happenings of last night, Krsh's ignorance, the panic attack and now the nightmare. I have my train in four hours and I have to reach early because Mumbai traffic is no joke.

I still haven't thought about how I would face Krsh, or how I will react when I will see him. The main motive of coming here to tell him all the truth is not fulfilled and now my heart is restless as never before. I made my way to the washroom, took a bath and changed into a pair of kurti and jeans, since I have to travel. I also have to tell ma before going and I was still not ready to face Krsh.

Maybe we need time, maybe we need space, maybe I want to be in his arms. Uhh my mind is messing up with me and not to forget the damn hormones. Why do these periods have to come only when they are least expected? And on top of that I have to travel, how will I survive, Goddd.

I didn't put any makeup except for lip balm and kajal and proceeded with packing my bags. There is one suitcase and a handbag all in total. It took me one hour to get myself ready and my bags to be packed. I also cleaned the room and then made my way out.

As I stepped out with the bags a bit struggling, I saw a pair of legs. I fully came out and closed the door, turning to see Krsh with his back supported on the wall. He had his eyes closed, hair a mess and sitting in a very uncomfortable position, legs crossed and arms on either side. Still in his last night outfits which are now wrinkled up but only making him more handsome now, I was shocked and to not make any noise I put my hand on my mouth and felt my tears ready to come out.

How.. Why... When... many questions were popping in my head. I vaguely remembered someone knocking the door when I was having the attack. Was he the one? Did he stay outside the room the whole night? I crouched down to see him better. And all I can feel is my heart ripping into pieces seeing him like this. I can see the tear stains on his cheeks. He was crying. Why was he? What happened exactly last night? I had many questions and no answers to it. Even in this condition he is able to look as attractive and good-looking as he is when wide awake. I had this urge to put his falling hairs back from his forehead because they were slightly poking in his eyes but stopped my hand mid-way when last night came in my mind. How he didn't want me beside him? I sighed at myself and my overthinking.

No, no Meera, what are you doing? You should not be here. My conscious talk brought me back. I stood up and again took the handle of the bag, but it had to make the loudest screech sound now only. I scrunched my brows together, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths to help me calm myself.

I suddenly stopped and went inside to get a blanket for him as he was shivering a bit keeping my bags outside only. If whole night he was there outside, thinking about it only makes me shiver, I don't know how can he sleep like this. I came out and without making any noise I wrapped him in the blanket and as if sensing something warm he slightly shifted a bit and got more comfortable. I so wanted to make him sleep on a comfortable bed but if I do so his sleep will get disturbed and I have to face him which I am not ready for. Maybe I can tell someone, a servant or a family member to make him sleep in his room.

I stopped again when I heard some shuffle sounds and taking a last look at him I went away because I don't want to see him wide awake. I reached downstairs in the living room and since it was early morning only a few servants were up and cleaning around. I asked one of them if ma had woken up and she told me that she was in the kitchen.

But before I could make my way, I heard my name being called, "Meera." I closed my eyes because nothing ever goes my way. I silently wanted to leave but will that happen, no, because I wanted it. I sighed and without turning and stopping I started going, "Meera, please wait, I beg you."

And he was begging me literally. I didn't stop, so he came in front of me to block my way and I can see the look of desperation on his face. I tried so hard, so hard to not break myself before him, but my tears always betray me, so I lowered my eyes to see him. "Please Meera, at least don't turn your gaze from me, it kills me from inside."

I still didn't say anything and also didn't look up. "Please, don't ignore me, my love, it breaks my heart seeing you looking away from me."

"Let me at least explain about last night and apologize properly, angel." I can see how hard he was trying, but where my heart wanted to give in his talks, my mind went in the opposite direction and raised thoughts of what if he did this again, what if after apologizing he again ignores me, again what ifs. I am tired of all this and need a break. I want to literally give this relation of ours a chance and for that it is better if we take some time away from each other. This will also give me clarity and help me make decisions better.

Before I could say anything, I saw ma coming outside from the kitchen. I went towards her and touched her feet, to which she gave me her blessings. She saw the bags behind me and looked at me with confusion on her face and the whole time I could feel Krsh looking at me.

"Ma, I have to go back home. I took many holidays over the past few months and this time I could only get three days off. My children in school need me, and Baba also got sick yesterday. Rohan told me this yesterday in the afternoon and I couldn't tell you all because it was such a big day and didn't want to trouble you. But I should go now. I have a train at ten in the morning, so I have to go now because there might be traffic." I said in all one breath.

She said while patting my head, "Meera bacche, you should have told us yesterday only, how is bhaisaab's health now?"

"He is fine, just having a fever, but if neglected it can get worse and he hates medicine so someone has to be there."

"Ok, I will not stop you now, because the situation asks for it, but truthfully speaking, I am still not ready for you to go. But things can't go like this. Ok, but listen to my thing also that Krsh will drop you to the station and I don't want to hear a no." She said in a slightly strict voice.

"But ma, he should sleep right now, he is tired from all the happenings of yesterday and I will take a cab or something." I tried to make her understand in a subtle way so that she cannot sense anything wrong.

"But I can see him standing behind you all ready as if waiting for someone to give him a heads up to spend some time with you all alone. I want no arguments now, you can do this much for me, right beta?"

I couldn't say no to her after listening to her saying in such a motherly tone and who am I to deny my mother. So I agreed to her and after hugging her, me and Krsh both went out. He told me to wait as he went to take his car and this time it was Mercedes. I sighed, he is immensely rich. I should just stop my mind to think anything now, because it will only eat me up.

I sat inside on the passenger side of the car and he without speaking anything started the car and our journey to the station began. I made a guess that we were halfway to the station and at this time, no one said anything, not a word. The silence was so much that it could be cut with a knife.

Then he started, "If you are going because of me Meera, please don't. I will not be able to breathe knowing that because of me you have to go early." His voice was sounding so broken, I so wanted to take him in my arms and stop saying all this but I wanted to listen to what he had to say, so I didn't say anything and looked outside the window to not let him know my thoughts.

"There are things which I wanted to tell you, to share with you. I have my reasons for ignoring you but they are not at all an excuse for what I have done. I know you were hurt beyond repair, and I am the sole reason for what you are going through, but trust me angel I didn't want to do so. If it was in my hands, I would have taken you in my arms and kissed you like there is no tomorrow when I saw you at the function. This was the best surprise one could have given to me and I am glad you are the one who has given me this. I know this was totally out of your comfort zone, but you have gone out and this means so much to me. Meera, baby please say something, don't be like this, it wrenches my heart to see you like this. I...I.. Meera I swear on you, I didn't want to ignore you but if I did not do that you might be in danger. I could not tell you more than this but I just want to ask one thing from you, please trust me, just trust me and give me some time to make this all right."

I can see how hard he was trying to hold himself in front of me, how strong he was portraying himself to be, by the way his knuckles turned white with how tightly he was grabbing the steering and nerves on his neck coming out. I said without looking at him and looking in front, "Krsh, I want some time, to just take it all in. whatever happened yesterday, it might look as if nothing big happened but it was too much for me. I think we need time away from each other. I will be thankful if you don't call or text me for a few days. And also I am not going because of you, whatever I said in front of ma it was true, baba is not well and Rohan cannot manage everything alone that is why I am going there early." I didn't know why I needed to clarify that but I did anyway. Also I think this is the best thing we can do to each other. I just hope things don't get more out of hand than they are now.

"Of course, Meera, whatever you say is a command for me. I just want you to be happy even if it is me being away from you, I will gladly do that. Just be safe and take care of baba and Rohan and also take care of yourself also. Now I will not be there to ask about your health and whereabouts so until then look after my Meera."

As he finished saying, I nodded to him without looking at him. We reached the station on time and after making sure that I was sitting comfortably, giving me a forehead kiss which felt like a medicine in my wounds he went away saying once again to take care of myself.

Leaving me in thoughts again of what I should do and should not do. He screamed at me to trust him but can I, should I all these are wreaking havoc in my mind. I should just quit musing and focus on the present. I called Rohan as baba was resting, informing him that I have started my journey and told him to take care. After that the train started moving and I can still see Krsh standing and gazing at me without any movement. I averted my eyes so as to not be able to handle it and closed my eyes, my futile attempt at stopping my train of thoughts.