Meera's pov

Raghav bhai and I reached Mumbai in the early morning by flight. Rohan wanted to come but I denied him since there should be someone with baba to take care of him. The whole journey I was silently crying and praying that he should be  safe.

Raghav bhaiya consoled me and was with me all the time but I want Krsh to be there with me. Stay strong Meera, he has promised he will come back, he has to. We reached the hospital just after half an hour of landing in Mumbai. I am trying very hard to not burst out and be calm but as the time is going, I am losing my sanity.

Is this what someone feels when their beloved is not near them? Is this how much painful it feels like getting your heart ripped into pieces. Please God, save him, take my life instead of him but do not let something happen to him.

We reached where he was admitted. I saw everyone except dadi and Viraj bhai. I immediately went to ma and she hugged me providing the much needed warmth. Meera, you have to stay strong for him and his family. I made her sit on the bench kept outside the ICU and assured her that nothing will happen to her son. He knows how to win these situations like her.

I saw Shanaya standing with the support of a wall and went near her. And the strong facade she was holding in front of everybody broke when I hugged her, I felt the tears on my shoulder. I rubbed her back since she was crying and choking at the same time. I made her and papa also sit since he was also holding himself for the sake of everybody.

Shanaya sat beside ma and baba beside Revathi bua opposite to them. Raghav bhai has gone to talk with some doctors I guess. I asked them to eat something and with so much persistence they had to agree. I also asked Revathi bua if she liked something, though she was not happy to see me here which was visible on her face, she restrained herself because of the situation and said no to me and that whatever I will bring will be the poison only.

Papa stopped her to at least see the place and situation and then speak. I went towards the hospital canteen and brought some sandwiches and tea. After making them eat, I was standing with the support of a wall and waiting.

It must have been another two hours passed, when the doctor came moving his surgical cap. Everybody ran to him asking how he is, is he awake or not. He told us that the operation was successful, his head has been injured severely due to the airbag not opening on time and due to this there is a lot of blood loss, his right hand is fractured and small scratches are there on his body. Though the surgery went well, he slipped into a coma.

Listening to this everybody gasped, ma was crying hysterically and Revathi bua was handling her to calm down. Shanaya on the other hand hugged her father not being able to see him in this condition, papa though were standing strong but his eyes reflected how much pain he was in.

I was stunned, not being able to react to what the doctor was saying.

Doctor told us we can see him but only for a few minutes as the patient needs rest. Everybody went inside to see him, but my feet were glued to the ground. I can see him from the glass part of the door, lying motionless, his head and body wrapped in bandages. The regular beep of the monitor echoed through the room. His once cheerful and always radiating glow has now turned into a fragile and weak state.

I am not able to see him in this way, my heart is feeling heavy with worry and regret. I should have told him everything before. Then this would have not happened. Then he would have been here healthy and all smiling. It's all my fault that he is here.

I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and looked behind to see it was Raghav bhai, "Meera, come inside, why are you standing like this outside." He said.

I felt tears brimming my eyes, how can I tell him that his best friend lying on that bed was all because of me. I shook my head and he made me sit on the bench and wiped my tears. He told me to wait outside and he will come after a few moments. I tried to be strong but failed miserably.

His parents, sister and bua came out and I instantly stood up. Apparently Raghav bhai told them to go home as they also need rest. After a lot of insistence they went before ma and Shanaya giving me a hug. Then he took me inside and now the tears were streaming uncontrollably. I was unable to hold up and Raghav bhaiya was there to provide all the support.

He is so strong, his best friend is lying there and he is managing all the things holding all his emotions back. He made me sit near the bed and told me he would come after some minutes. As he went closing the door, I turned my head towards Krsh, my heart was filled with melancholy seeing him attached with tubes and what not.

I gathered what was left of my courage and held his hands, keeping it near my cheeks which were wet due to tears, his eyes were closed. "Krsh, please wake up. I...I....I am sorry. I pro-promise I will never get angry with you. What-whatever you will say, I will do it. If-if you want to ignore me, do that, but ple-please wake up. I will tell you everything you want to know. Ma and papa are very sad and tense looking at you, Shanaya has been crying continuously, please wake up at least for their sake. I will go back if you ask me to never show my face to you again."

I couldn't speak more and I choked on my own words, but there was no movement from his side. I was hiccuping and crying at the same time. I didn't realize when my eyes felt heavy and they closed on themselves making me keep my head near his hand.

I woke up when I heard a loud beeping sound and I opened my eyes to look at where I was. I looked towards him and then the machine and made my run to the doctor. The doctor and nurses came and told me to wait outside. I was hoping that everything would go well.

I thought about going to the mandir which was inside the hospital only and as I was making the turn I saw Raghav bhaiya talking with someone on the phone, but what surprised me was the name he took, Abhay. Then it clicked that he had sent me the message last night threatening me. Was he behind this accident? Did he do it himself? If he was the cause then I will never be able to forgive myself. My breath rose thinking about it only but how Raghav bhaiya knows him.

My trance broke when he saw me, eyes widening and before he spoke anything I asked, "How do you know about Abhay?"

"It is not the place Meera, first tell me is Krsh okay? Why are you here outside instead of being with him?" He dodged my question and asked me in the softest voice possible.

Then I remembered what happened a few minutes ago and again my eyes became watery. I told him everything, my voice breaking several times in between. He then took me to where he was. Doctor came outside and Raghav bhaiya asked him what exactly happened. The doctor told us that it was a seizure and it will be better if we talk with him about the good things and avoid giving any unnecessary stress.

The doctor went away and we entered the room. I controlled my tears as much as possible and suddenly Raghav bhaiya said, "He knows who Abhay is and what is your relation with him", indicating with his eyes the 'he', he was referring to and my eyes went from him to Krsh.

My eyes popped listening to him, that means he knows about my past. How much does he know? Does he know 'her'? Does he know about my high school? Then why didn't he say anything. Does Abhay have any connection to the night he was ignoring me? My mind is in chaos like the waves in stormy sea. How will I face him?

I came to reality when Raghav bhaiya put his hand on my shoulder to bring me back. I looked towards him, "I only know who he is. Krsh must be knowing more but I can tell you that he also doesn't know the whole truth. Only you can help us in this, Meera. Krsh has warned me that something like this would happen and we were doing the preparations for that only but before it could be completed this happened." when he said.

I can see he was looking helpless and wanted some clue but, "Bhaiya I know what you are saying is the truth, but I would like to tell Krsh about him first. Please..." I said instead and pleaded with him to understand. If any person who deserves to know my past first it is only him, Krsh. He nodded and gave me the smile of understanding.

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It's been a week but Krsh has not opened his eyes and now he has been shifted to another private room. Everything around seems to fall apart. Day by day it seems that I can't take it anymore. I tried but every time I hold myself someone comes and breaks me with their words. I can understand that everyone is depressed and miserable, but if I am acting strong in front of others it doesn't mean that I am not the same as them.

Sometimes I feel that whatever bua is saying is true. Thinking about it, a scene, the day after I came, flashed in my mind.

(FLASHBACK)

I came to Krsh's house because ma has told me that in order to take care of him I have to take care of myself. I got freshen up in half the time I usually take and went downstairs to the living room but my steps slowed down when I heard bua's loud voice.

I saw dadi sitting beside ma, who is rubbing her back, Shanaya and Viraj bhaiya were not seen, must be in their room, Revathi bua is talking with papa. "I told you that, that girl is bad luck for Krsh, but nobody wants to listen to me, mein hoon he kaun?" (who am I ?)

Papa was trying to make her quiet but it seemed like a button was on, that she couldn't keep herself quiet. Then she again continued, "I told you that she belongs to a middle class family, will not be able to match the standards of ours. Now see she killed Krsh so she can take the money, my friend's daughter would have been better for my Krsh at least then he would have been standing here alive. The time this girl has come into Krsh's life, all he has done is go to her. Don't know what magic she has done that instead of being in office, half of the time I see him talking with her. I am telling you bhaiya that she is bad luck only, who knows she might be the reason her mother died."

Papa shouted at her to keep quiet and threaten her to say one word more. Listening to this I was petrified like a dead body whose eyes didn't even blink, I can clearly hear my heartbeat telling me I am still alive, standing here.

Everybody's face turned to me and shock was written clearly on their face. Maybe Bua is telling the truth, maybe I am the only bad luck. The thoughts came to a stop when papa came in front of me and started joining his hands together and before he could do I shook my head in no.

I can feel the inability to speak within me, the words were not coming out. I was having difficulty expressing myself but anyhow I told them that I am going to the hospital and will eat something there. Ma and dadi told me to eat then go, but I refused them and didn't look once towards bua.

As soon as I came in Krsh's room I sobbed like child asking for his mother keeping my head down beside Krsh's arm. It was hours I was crying and stopped when I heard the doctor coming inside. I went inside the washroom to wash my face and seeing that I looked bearable I came outside.

I asked the doctor about his condition to which he told he is stable and we just have to wait for him to gain consciousness. I nodded at him and then again sat beside him. Many things were running in my mind and I can't seem to control them.

I looked towards Krsh and thought whether it was even right for him, for his life. I controlled myself so much and made myself strong at the time of my mother's death that no one was able to know how much I was affected. I stopped talking about it altogether because I have to be there for baba and Rohan, but it affected me on a great level.

I also thought at one point that I am bad luck but then Krsh came into my life and just erased all those beliefs but maybe bua is right. Somewhere I am the reason behind his accident, if I didn't come into his life then Abhay would also not do such a thing.

(FLASHBACK END)

That was the last time I was in Krsh's house. After that I didn't go there and spent the night also here in the hospital, Raghav bhaiya was also there if any help was needed. Ma was persisting me to come but I refused and said I don't feel good coming there and I would rather be with Krsh, after all the reason I was here is him only.

Seeing me stubborn she gave up and then papa just said that if I need anything I can ask them and whatever bua said, I shouldn't mind because I will always be the same as Shanaya is to them. I was grateful for having such understanding in-laws.

These days I am just waiting for Krsh to wake up so that I can tell him the truth and tell him to think once again if it is right to marry me.